The path was dusty, it was long, and it really was uphill both ways – really!
And one morning on this routine trek from my host family’s house to the hospital, I came upon a elderly lady who was clearly afraid to go any further.
She was downright cowering. As I came closer, she approached me and asked if I was afraid of dogs. I said no, and she then pointed up the path to where two large dogs were on leashes with their owners, who showed no sign of moving out of the way. She was terrified. She asked me if I would walk her past them to protect her.
As we have covered in the last post, I am quite large myself. And I grew up with a large and very stubborn dog. So this, to me, was the most endearing honor! I took her by the arm and slowly led her up the uneven path, and when we made it to the top of the hill where it ended, she thanked me profusely with a look of great joy and relief.
I was touched and encouraged all morning by that experience! But unfortunately, that path was soon to become part of my walk of shame.
Because it took me past my first discovered pastry shop, or patisserie.
After the first week of attempting to eat against my body’s needs, my morning routine had switched from getting up, eating my few pieces of toast, and walking the 3 miles to the hospital, to getting up, devouring the toast, walking a mile and a half to the patisserie, buying a quiche (or two) and a pain au chocolat or pain aux raisins and eating one as soon as I walked out of the shop, and another when I got to the hospital before I put on my white coat. I added the third to my little lunch.
I was too hungry to resist.
Now, obviously, when your body has reacted to too few calories for too long, and you decide to up your calorie intake, you don’t need to go for pastries. You could add protein, or vegetables.
Right.
And to be fair to myself, I did try this. But I was a salmon swimming upstream, unable to find my typical go-to healthy foods and unaware of French alternatives.
And what I really wanted was the pastry.
Why is it that even when we want to want the good stuff, we crave the junk?
I wish I had known then what I figured out only years later:
1. I MUST have a substantial breakfast within an hour of waking up, unless I exercise for about an hour, in which case I can push it to an hour and a half. A substantial breakfast for me means a significant amount of protein and fat, and an unrefined grain.
This is now a nonnegotiable for me, and I will go way out of my way to make sure it happens. Without this kind of breakfast, I know that not only am I going to be very irritable by mid-morning, but that night I will be insatiably hungry. And more likely than not, whatever I eat will stick like glue!
My go-to solution these days is to carry a bag of beef or turkey jerky around with me when I travel. (I even keep a few in the car!) Sometimes that means I stock up at the airport on the way to a place where I know breakfast may be unreliable!
2. I have to get enough sleep. Unlike breakfast, I can go a day or two without optimum sleep (8 hours for this girl!) and still be fine. But by day three or four, I definitely notice an uptick in my appetite.
The way I understand it, your body needs fuel to run well, and two of the primary fuel types are sleep and food. So if your body didn’t get the rest it needed, it will demand more energy from food to make up for its fatigue. That’s not science, that’s just my logic!
3. I must have healthy treats and snacks on hand for when I get hungry during the day.
Full disclosure: I don’t really eat lunch. I eat a hunk of my stevia brownies, or a clean protein/energy bar or two, and drink lots of water and tea. It’s the best and easiest (not to mention the most fun!) way to keep my calories within the range of what my body needs, and yet still allows me to have my favorite tastes as part of my everyday routine! (Plus, not having to stop for a midday meal unless I have to for social reasons means I get SO much more done!)
I usually have black tea with cream (bring on the appetite-controlling fats! The French have that right!) in the morning, then around noon, and then around 3 or 4pm. I’ll eat my treats when I’m hungry, and it usually totals to about 400 or 500 calories, the equivalent of a full meal. But instead of having another meal with meat and veggies, I’m using that meal’s calorie allotment to essentially eat what many people just tack onto a full meal as dessert.
The problem in France was that I was still going back and forth between a sugar-gorge, (or a ‘sugar sprinkle,’ just eating enough to keep my craving for it alive until it broke into a gorge), and an ‘I’ll only eat meat and vegetables’ unsustainable boredom-fest.
What should I have done? I should have added plenty of fatty protein to my toast breakfast, and then snacked on low-sugar items throughout my busy day.
I finally got this perfect on a stay in Paris two and a half years later. I had lost the weight, and was determined to not have a ‘Nice Round 2.’ So as soon as I settled in with my host family there, I booked it to the supermarket and loaded up on 5oz cans of smoked herring! Stinky, I know, but I lived on a different floor! 🙂
My breakfast was the toast and toppings they provided, with a whole can of fish, dipping the bread into the oil for extra fat, and adding a few ounces of swiss cheese. Two cups of instant coffee with cream and a handful of vitamins later, I was able to walk around Paris for 8 hours each day, with a clear mind and plenty of energy, and not feel hungry at all. Dinner each night was a pleasure, not a panicked feeding frenzy. I not only didn’t gain 20 pounds, I lost a few.
What can you take away from this? NEVER try to live by a lifestyle because it seems glamourous. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to eat ‘just fruit for breakfast,’ or ‘just a latte’ because it sounded like such a chic way to start my day.
Inevitably, I would push through the hunger thinking how controlled and sophisticated I was, only to later break down and overeat. If it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you. Instead of trying to force yourself into a fantasy lifestyle that doesn’t fit, make what is heathy and effective for you the fantasy lifestyle!
What are your nonnegotiables for keeping your appetite in check? Remember, appetite is a wonderful, God-designed function of your amazing body that should serve you and the good work you are doing on earth, not the other way around! Let me know 🙂
Love and Freedom,
